I turn on my PC.
The local wildlife are immediately sterilised by the excessive output from my four exposed nuclear reactors running at a critically risky heat output.
The sound of 10,000 cooling fans deafens the city’s morning traffic as my warehouse of 500 parallel-chained AMD Razer Threadrippers bursts into life, forming the equivalent processing power of 2015 in one room.
Nearby, my cluster of Nvidia 5090 Test Cards begins to warp the local time continuum as they calculate answers man was never meant to know.
Very gently, I open Microsoft Teams.
Instantly, the already deafening noise of fans increases to a murderous wail as they try to keep my equipment at operating temperatures. A nuclear reactors’ fusion catches up with its cooling and explodes destroying the lives of millions. The floor begins to melt away as my processors over clocked ten-fold reach critical mass and descend directly into hell. My Nvidia cluster collapses into a singularity and begins to devour the planet.
Quickly now, I open a text chat, it’s a bit laggy.
The sheer struggle of loading some text destroys the remaining systems. Me and my equipment are deleted from reality by an unknown overseer.
Humanity is not ready for instant messaging
Neue Statuspage für meine absolut nicht übertriebe private Infrastruktur ✅
all aboard the MV Collapse, folks!
Wondering if I should borrow money to build a house and rent it out.
It's not something I'm super excited about, but it is a relatively safe endeavor; if I walk away, I wouldn't go to jail; the lender would just sell the house and I'd be right back where I started.
If all goes well, I'd have some extra money coming in 30 years from now.
I mean, I know why. It's because every Gnome update breaks stuff so I want to get away from it.
It's just that I have many other more pressing matters. 😅
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